It`s been already four months since I decided to take the risk and give it a try. Yes, sometimes fulfilling a dream comes as the biggest panic on Earth. And then some more, as you feed yourself with reasons to actualy believe it’s the right thing to do, all those dearest friends around you keep saying that, never forget, they will always be there in case of failure. That`s a great help in taking decisions!
So I moved part time to Brasov, 170ish km away from Bucharest, where my home, office and friends are. Why? Because I felt like. Whatever reasons I would try to put into words, it`s useles. I just felt like I need to breathe new air for a while, short or long while as it will come. Sometimes you just know you belong with someone, or somewhere. And I feel the need to tell the story of how this dream looks like now, when it is not longer a dream, but reality.
Chapter One – THE JOURNEY
Every week I travel on the same road, up and down. As much as I`d wish to, I`m not all that disciplined so that I could build a routine out of it. So I just travel whenever I feel the need to, or when a cliend demands me to, work or friends convince to. I go up for ski, down for movies, up for courses, down for office work, up for outdoors, down for the city, and so on. Same road, again and again. Different hours, seasons, into that mind blowing thought of how beautiful nature is, and how little time we spend breathing in its rhythm. Every travel becomes a collection of unique moments that make me feel like time stopes for me to fill my mind with each and every one of them. Yesterday the clouds were up and the mountains sad, in between seasons. But so majestic and quiet, as if they`d be compasionly watching people passing by down there, on the busy roads. Last week was it, when I realised summer is coming and days are longer, as leaving Brasov same time as I do on retur, Monday 7am, I no loger saw the sunrise on the mountains, the sun had been there quite an hour ago.
I see color combinations, textures. I admire the hights of the peaks and the plains of the fields. I think about idiot things as I browse some awfull radio stations in the car. I sing, talk on the phone or to myself.Then I try to focus my mind on something constructive, such as … mostly work issues. But I can`t, so I continue to stare at the view. Only when I reach my destination I feel my mind full of new ideas, constructive thoughts and bright feelings.
So here it is. Is it worth it to lose so much time in the car in order to split your life into two homes? No, of course not. Only that in my case, this is not lost time, it is the only time I spend just watching, contemplating, letting my thoughts come and go as they wish. Is the only time I understand time, as it is, unstopable, the only time I acknowledge the unicity of present, without involving any drama in the process. This travel makes me understand things differently. And inspires me to look at things diffrently therefore to extend my thoughts and feelings to new teritories.
All these colors became design patterns, all these moods became illustration subjects.
Sometimes I stop to take photos, sometimes I just try to think upon the immages I see and to understad what color combination would that be, how would I paint it if I`d have to. Creativity training is really something that either you do or you don`t. Naturally.
So yes it`s worth it. I`m much more tired and much more agitated now, I spend much more money and I have much less time but it`s worth it. It teaches me to travel light, to figure out much better what shoes I`m gonna wear, to buy less food and to keep better track of things around me. I think living in two homes is so chaotic, that teaches you to be disciplined in order to survive it.